Welcome to Kuwait. Great choice! I, personally, have been trying to get out for the past 15 years, but to each their own. Here is my guide to this fair nation:
Clothing and Conduct
The first thing many Westerners learn about Kuwait is that there is no alcohol and that they have to cover up. The conservatism might be scary, but what you may not realize is that Kuwaitis don’t expect foreigners to fit in. Kuwait is not a melting pot despite the many nationalities because very little is melting. Each group of expats forms their own subculture, where they do many of the same things considered acceptable in their homeland.
So, Kuwaitis don’t expect you to cover up like them but just to look like you’re trying. Arab women are experts at wearing layers of clothing to hide everything they want to and you probably can’t compete with this sort of lifelong training. What you think of is modest is probably considered immodest here anyway.
When I was in middle school, a Canadian friend of mine told me her mother bought her a one piece bathing suit when they moved to Kuwait because, “No bikinis in Kuwait.” Looking back, this is funny to me. Anywhere you can wear a one-piece in Kuwait, you can probably wear a bikini. The general public disapproves of both.
But, you may say, plenty of Arab women wear provocative clothing. Yes, but if you do it it’s perceived as disrespectful. When Arabs do it it’s just because they’re slutty and raised badly. Many Kuwaitis assume your entire continent was raised badly so your job is merely to hide it.
It is ironic that a country so hot should require so much clothing. The climate suggests Kuwait could be the world’s largest beach party. But no. My personal theory is that the people are so religious because they live in a constant reminder of hell.
The Kuwaitis You Will Meet
Kuwaitis are not a homogenous group, despite the considerable external pressure we face to become one. Your impression of us could vary greatly depending on who you interact with. These are the groups I have identified:
The very conservative and not very educated group: This group probably disapproves of you the most, but you will also have the least interaction with them if you work in the places that typically employ Western expats. Most of their opinions of Americans are based on what they see on T.V. Someone from this group once asked my sister if she had met Paris Hilton when she was studying in the U.S. In general, they’ll be fine with you as long as you don’t try to marry their children.
The conservative and educated group: For the most part, this group will treat you respectfully. Many Kuwaitis study abroad and have a decent understanding of Western culture. You will even meet some very religious people who approach their beliefs in an enlightened and well thought out way. Plenty define themselves as moderate but still seem pretty conservative compared to the rest of the world.
The liberals: This group is very hit or miss. I am in this group. (I am clearly a hit.) Some members are truly open-minded and Westernized while others think Americans snort cocaine in their bathrooms. No, they aren’t judging you for it, they think it’s normal and expect you to give them your drugs. Some people just pretend to be “open-minded” as an excuse to do whatever they want. Then they have a traditional marriage to their cousin. Approach with caution.
Dating the Locals
If you’re an expat dating an Arab man, you may find people jump to some unflattering conclusions. Your friends may warn you about Kuwaiti guys. Kuwaitis may warn you about Kuwaiti guys. The interesting thing, though, is that these stereotypes don’t seem to exist about dating Arab women, but I know plenty of Westerners married to Arab men and far fewer Westerners married to Arab women. So, by all means be cautious, but I think some of the judgment here is unfounded.
The Racial Hierarchy
My purpose here is not to offend anyone but just to be honest. So I hope we can admit that like most if not all countries in the world, Kuwait is racist. And there is a bizarrely distinct sort of pecking order.
Kuwaitis are on the top in terms of power and influence, but white expats hover nearby. They are frequently preferred for employment and housing over Kuwaitis. Schools want foreigners. Landlords think Kuwaitis are bad tenants. They will discriminate, and they will say to you directly that this building is only for foreigners. The interesting thing is that I don’t think Kuwaitis particularly like Americans or vice versa. They don’t approve of how “loose” the culture is or many of the government’s political/military moves. But they’d still rather hire an American teacher than an Egyptian one. On the other hand, many Americans adopt a sort of white supremacist attitude towards Kuwaitis. But they stay. In fact, the less they like brown people, the more likely they seem to come here in the first place. I don’t know why.
The next tier is the non-Gulf Arabs. For some reason everyone seems to dislike Egyptians. Kuwaitis dislike Palestinians because they sided with Saddam Hussain during the Gulf War. Lebanese people are considered hot but too “free.” Lebanon is kind of like the Paris of the Middle East. My uncle once said to a friend of his, “Look at how ugly you are and your mother is Lebanese. Imagine how ugly you would be if your mother was Kuwaiti.” I guess that sums it up.
The lowest group is the South Asian expats. They are treated badly by almost every other group, but sometimes more so by the people who are constantly pushed around by Kuwaitis. They’re the ones everyone seems to kick around to feel better about themselves. It makes me sad.
In Conclusion
I don’t mean to suggest Kuwait is a bad place. It has its good points. It’s comfortable. I almost never have to leave the house to get groceries. The people are usually friendly and they expect to meet many foreigners. I’ve spent most of my life here while barely speaking any Arabic. I don’t think I could get through the day in the U.S. without speaking English. One other advantage is that I find it to be less fattening than other countries because you can’t really walk down a city street and look at all the bakeries. And the grocery stores have far fewer pies, although on some days I consider this a major disadvantage.
In some ways it’s a great place to live, but it can still be a big adjustment. This is my honest take on the stuff most other guides leave out. Feel free to ask questions!
Half-Blood Kuwaiti 