Every Flaw is Also a Virtue

This is one of the easiest and most effective self esteem-building exercise I know. It’s based on this simple truth: flaws and virtues don’t exist separately; instead, they come in pairs. It makes sense. After all, aren’t some flaws are just too much of a good thing?

Not everyone has the same pairs, you’ll have to figure out what yours are yourself, but look at the following example:

You consider yourself lazy. Maybe you are. This is not to convince you that your flaw doesn’t actually exist and instead you are nothing but good traits. It’s just, if you’re lazy, you’re going to have a more positive expression of the same thing that makes you lazy. Maybe you’re laid-back or free spirited. Maybe you’d rather daydream than do something more productive, but doesn’t that mean you have a vivid imagination? Perhaps someone else is calling you lazy because you don’t do what they ask you to do. It’s a valid complaint. But maybe this also means you aren’t a follower, that you’re independent and you live your life exactly how you want.

It will not be the same pair for everyone because there are a million subtleties in personality. You will not be lazy for the same reason I will. Someone could accuse us of the same negative traits yet not consider us remotely similar. Here are some more examples of flaws and what virtues can accompany them to help you think:

Can’t focus — Creative, dreamy

Bossy — Natural leader

Overly sensitive — Caring

Too talkative — Friendly

Messy — Accepting, easygoing, or tolerant

Insecure — Has high standards or strongly wishes to make others happy

Arrogant — Willing to take risks or, sometimes, ambitious

Rude — Straightforward

Quick-tempered — Speaks mind

Hides emotions — Patience, self-control

You may know plenty of rude people who aren’t straightforward, just unpleasant, but I would believe they have something positive in them tied to whatever drives them to be rude. But I’m not asking you to look for it in other people. Just yourself. Take a piece of paper and write down whatever flaws you have that make you feel bad about yourself, then flip them on their heads and find your good qualities. This should remind you to never believe that you are without value, but also keep you humble.